May 03, 2003
There is no Magic Oven
Just had a nasty thought (one of many), trapped watching commercials on the Fox News Channel while eating lunch. A Keebler cracker commercial was airing, with the usual annoying, cloying Keebler Elf motif.
The thought was this: I am certain that someday soon, these commercials will have a 10-15 second urgently and legally worded postamble to the effect of "no, elves don't exist, there is no Magic Oven, don't believe everything you see on TV" because sure as hell some loser is going to try suing the Kellogg Company for all the money in Battle Creek, Michigan because of their eventual disillusionment & resultant psychological distress.
Stupider things have happened. I'll bet something like this happens.
Then again, maybe they should be sued for this "Elfin facts" claptrap I see scrolling in my browser's status bar courtesy of the page's embedded Javascript:
- "The Hollow Tree grows in the Sylvan Glen"
- "Elves enjoy work more than play"
- "Elves bake using the magic oven"
- "The Hollow Tree doesn't lose its leaves in the winter"
- "The elves rely on natural energy sources like wind or water instead of electricity"
Excuse me while I dig an airsickness sack out of my flight bag...
Posted by Russell Whitaker at May 3, 2003 01:34 PM | TrackBack